How My Boyfriend Learned To Use a Maxi Pad

Our Golden Retriever Tender was in heat for the very first time.

“Are there any doggy underwear out there?” I asked my boyfriend.

He almost choked on his sandwidge and gave me an odd look. “You asking me? Go to the pet store, they should know.”

“Ah, that’s a good idea!” I smiled.

“Surely there must be something out there, I don’t want to have blood all over the house.”

***

A pet store lady gave me a blank look. “Underwear for dogs?”

“Yeah, or something like pads, you know so we can keep our house clean.”

She shook her head. “The only thing we have are these waterproof “accident” mats, love.” she offered.

“That’s not what I am after, but thanks anyway.”

***

“Hey babes, I am home.” I kissed Drew on the lips.

“Any luck?” he asked.

“Nope…,but I’ve got an idea!”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me, huh? My ideas girl!” he scooped me up in his arms.

“I’ll just give her one of my knickers and a pad.”

“Okaaay-just don’t give her any of your sexy ones, I think that might be a bit off putting, if you know what I mean!”

“Shut up! As if I would give her my best underwear!”

“Well, I don’t know, you might have, and what if anyone sees it, then they will know what you wear, I don’t like that idea at all!”

“Okay, so it’s alright to give her one of my old stretched greying knickers, I am not gonna be embarrassed at all by that!” I replied and tickled him.

***

“I gotta go, babes!” I was getting ready for college. No answer. I run up the stairs to the bedroom. Drew was still fast asleep.

“Drew!” I said quietly and touched his arm. Nothing.

“I am leaving, like right now, and I am late. Don’t forget to change Tender’s pad!”

He opened his eyes wide open.

“Whaaat?”

“Don’t worry, you just take one of my pads, it’s in the bathroom on the windowsill, and just put it in her underwear.”

“Do I have to?” Drew moaned.

“Yes! It’s not a rocket science, Drew! Just make sure the knickers are tied to her collar, otherwise it will slip off. I put a string through the back of the panties, it’s the only way it stays on! Anyway have fun, bye darling!”

“Bye, babes.” He kissed me goodbye, and I finally rushed out of the door.

***

“Hi babes, I am home!” I shouted from the door.

“Hey darling, how was your day?” he kissed me tenderly.

“Great-but wait a minute, let me go, where is Tender’s knickers?” I struggle free out of his arms.

“Oh, that! I let her out earlier, and I forgot to take her knickers off, oops, sorry! I couldn’t find the pads anyways.”

I laughed when I pictured Tender doing her business with the panties on, but I was puzzled that Drew couldn’t find the pads.

“What do you mean, you couldn’t find it? I told you, it’s in the bathroom!”

“Yeah, I looked, it wasn’t there.”

I was mystified, I went in the bathroom and there it was, right there on the windowsill.

“Drew! How did you look? It was right there!” I brought the small packet of feminine pads into the living room and waved it in front of his face.

“Oh, that?”

“Drew!”

“Whaaat? How would I know what it looks like???”

I can’t help but laugh. “Alright, well now you know!”

The next day after I got home from college, I was pleased to see Tender laying in her bed with her knickers on. She wagged her tail sticking through the hole I cut in the pants.

“Hey Drew, I am back, how did it go with Tender today?”

“Alright!” he kissed me.

“So you changed her pad?”

“Yep.”

“Great! Thanks, darling!”

I proceeded into the kitchen to make us a cup of coffee, when Tender got up and walked up to the door.

“You wanna go in the garden, do you?” I cooed and patted Tender’s soft head and proceeded to take her underwear off. Then I saw it.

“Dreeeewww!”

“What?” he came into to the kitchen.

“I see, you put the pad in, but why didn’t you unwrap the wings?” I shook my head in disbelief.

“What did I do now?”

“Look, you have to take this little plastic off and wrap the wings around, so the absorbent part of the pad is exposed.”

Drew was just looking at me like I was explaining the Theory of Relativity to him.

“And how am I supposed to know that? Fucking girly shit!” he said defensively.

“Well, now you know!”

We looked at each other and burst out in laughter.